What does it mean to have understanding? It means to know to seek after knowledge. If we purse an issue thinking that we know everything about it from the start, this is not understanding. If we pursue thinking that simply by the strength of our own determination exerting force we will bend the issue to our favor, this is not understanding. Seeking knowledge means first seeking the fear of the Lord, humbling ourselves and our cause to His presence, listening for direction and knowing that it may well include correction and faithful obedience, this is understanding.
A father would be most pleased if a son would deeply respect and have a warm open connection to his mom. It wouldn't matter as much to the father about the son's relationship with him; that would just be the cream on the cake. Should the son not have this connection to his mom neither father nor mom would be pleased especially the father.
The problem is that few of us have ever taken the effort of developing and maintaining a circle of wise counselors. It is a purposeful and extensive investment long before an issue ever arises. Knowing who to trust, who most sees things as they really are, having previous experience with them in smaller issues. Men seem to hold off seeking counsel until times where a circle of counsel cannot be mustered soon enough. Women tend to seek the wrong counsel, counsel that will tell you whatever they think you want to hear instead of counsel that is honest and fearless enough to tell you where you are wrong.