Destructive Trait Intro
(Thread begun by RandyP)
Everybody has their traits and everybody has their issues. At certain times the relevant life situations surrounding each of us boils over into events and crisis demanding immediate advice and attention. There should be no shame or blame found in that that.
- Upon any thorough examination though it should be asked
- "what has brought me to this?"
- "what has made this occurrence manifest in this way?"
- "what needs to be done by me to steer my way through?"
Maybe in your present situation the immediate problem isn't you. Maybe you are the one being affected by the traits and or issues of someone else, most typically someone dear to you, you seem to be the one on trial here however. These events and situations can boil over in a myriad of ways. They may often appear to stem from a complex web of inter-related causes as well. So what can be done?
The most common approach is the self help method. The bookstore shelves are lined from floor to ceiling with resources. Most self help efforts stall out in the second chapter; it is too hard of work, there is no further investment.
The second most common approach is the advice and counsel of a trusted third party approach. Few people have taken the time to develop the skills and social connections to have these previously established interpersonal trust relationships before times of crisis and resort to seeking the types of advice that they would most like to hear instead of the types of counsel that would serve their crises best.
While there is often some good found in this type of effort, seekers here are usually seeking the quick fix from the Pastor or Counselor. You know, the quick verse, the quick parable, the quick ten step self help list. They are sabotaged by the lack of previously established trust. Just as in the first approach, their effort stalls out at the point of their own personal investment.
Some traits or issues boil over further to the point where families and or society have to take legal or civil action. Willing family and community contacts and resources are demolished and utterly obliterated. The person and the victim alike are excommunicated into that no mans land of tragic consequence.
So where would one more wisely proceed?
The Biblical Answer
How would the Bible have us approach these issues and traits?
The answer depends on if you are looking for the quick fix or not.
The quick fix is that you want the crises solved without having to do a whole lot regarding your relationship with God. Ask the Pastor, surely he has dealt with problems like this before. He'll have a witty story, a clever analogy, a verse or two to take home and study; he'll even pray over you when your session is done. The bonus is that you will have committed your annual religious act for this year and you won't have to worry about that for some time to come.
The long answer is that you take it upon yourself (perhaps with the help of a Pastor) to get to the bottom of your life issues, the very core of your heart's desires, and you find that long lost one on one relationship with God.
One might say "well I'm not dealing with a God issue here, I'm dealing with an anger issue" or "...a financial issue" or "...a (you fill in the blank) issue". It is the failure to connect the two issues that effects critical seekers the most, they have no other investment than their own selves.
In the "Battling Destructive Traits" and "Personal Issue Management" threads to follow, I hope to illustrate the centrality of our relationship to God as the root cause of any and all traits and issues that you might today be facing. Whether the issue you face is directly addressed by name or not, I think that you will find a common answer and a common biblical application that will help you to you successful pathway out of your present situation and into the loving and caring arms of a great and mighty Father God. Your honest investment into searching and seeking and not shying away from this relationship is all that will be needed to start.
Preliminary Foundational Readings:
- Battling Destructive Traits:
Personal Issue Management:
- UNDER CONSTRUCTION